Stupid Hot Boys
by mebelucydee
Summary: Carly's POV of Gary Wolf's 'text' to Sam at the end of iStage An Intervention. One sided CAM. Oneshot ? Kinda stupid title, but give it a shot, eh?


The ending of iStage An Intervention in Carly's POV. It's 2:31 AM, I've just eaten a box of chocolates after throwing up a lot. So sorry if this doesn't turn out as good as I wanted. I jus watched that episode and was like "omg, gold." but I was really scared someone would get to writing this fanfic before me, so I rushed it kinda. I didn't really know how to end it. I tried though, believe me.

And I hope you realize I suck so bad at making up titles! Hope you like it anyway.

**Disclaimer: I don't own iCarly, but I really wish I did. **

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"The pink shorts?" I asked Sam, still kind of in shock. I mean, I wasn't surprised or anything, but I was kind of weirded out how devious Sam was sometimes. And she didn't even tell me, I guess I would have made her stop though. I gotta admit, it was kind of funny. Sam always is. No, I mean… what am I saying? What she did was bad. And evil. And wrong. And she should never do it again. But you have to admit, it takes a lot of genius to do something like that. I just wish she didn't waste her time on making Freddie's life so miserable all the time.

"One red sock in his washing machine." She replied immediately. I liked that tone she had. Sure, she was being cocky, and for the wrong reasons, but for some reason, I just liked it. Makes her look so confident with herself, so proud. And she was obviously happy.

"Okay, what about the spider on his face?" I asked.

"That was just lucky." She answered before checking her phone for messages. Before I could even speak, she let out the most outrageous scream ever. "NO WAY!!!"

"WHAT?"

"GARY WOLF!"

"What about Gary Wolf?" My heart stopped for a little bit. From the excitement in her voice, it was going to be something good. Well… good for her at least. But here I go, being selfish. She's allowed to like and swoon over hot guys, I know, I know. It doesn't mean I have to like it. I mean, hearing her squeal about hot guys in the hall ways is enough for me. And having to pretend like I'm totally on the same page as her? Having to jump up and down and make myself look like every other hormonally-raged teenage girl every time a hot guy walks by? Total torture.

"He texted me!" My heart jumped back to life, just not in a very good way. "He wants me to meet him at the Crownbridge mall!" It stopped again.

I tried to think of a reasonable reaction without totally losing control. "But he's a senior!" I blurted out.

"I know!" Sam ignored any negativity in my reaction and bolted for the door. Now I was in shock. She was going to totally ditch me to go meet stupid hot Gary Wolf at the mall. I mean, not like we were doing anything important, but this was Carly/Sam time! She's got the time to unscrew Freddie's bike, but she can't wait a second to at least give me a decent goodbye? My blood boiled a little, and I felt a blush on my cheeks, but I knew I was just going out of my mind.

"Why would the hottest senior in our school ask _you_ to meet him at the mall?" Okay, that sounded mean. But, why Sam? Of all girls, why couldn't he have just asked one of those bimbos falling at his feet every day? Why her? Why _my_ Sam? Who did he think he was? Stepping in my territory? He's just a stupid skunkbag! Well,Sam didn't even seem phased by my rude comment... probably because she was too busy dreaming about Gary Wolf. But I felt bad anyway; I didn't want her to think I was insulting her. I'd never do that to her. "I mean, not that you're not cool and appealing and everything, but _**why you**_?" She's way past cool and appealing to me. But again… why Sam?

"I DON'T KNOW! BUH BYE!" Sam ignored my comment again, and in a flash, was gone. And there I was, alone in the studio. I was still mad. Or sad. Okay, I was upset. Like someone stole something really important from me. Well, I guess that basically did happen. I felt like I was going to burst. It was an impulse, but I started down the stairs. I needed to tell someone. Next thing I knew, I was knocking on Freddie's door.

"Hey." Freddie said, leaning against the wall.

"Heh. Hi." I said timidly. It took me until then for me to realize what I was doing. No way was I ready to come out to this guy just because I was getting way emotional about some stupid text Sam got from Gaaarrry Woooollllf. Damn him and his irresistible-to-most-girls-and-even-some-boys-face. Stupid hot boys... "I gotta tell you something." I guess this was it. Taking the plunge. But before I could start, he interrupted me.

"You're gonna tell me that there was no bad luck? That Sam did all that stuff to me?" Oh yeah, that happened too. I was kind of surprised Freddie figured that one out. I played along.

"How'd you know?"

"Well, I didn't know when it was my pink shorts and my laptop, but I saw her loosening the bolts on my bike."

"But I thought your bike fell apart while you were riding it."

"Nope, I just pretended on that one." Needless to say, I was really shocked at how slick Freddie was getting. Probably from getting picked on by Sam so much… But that led me to a very important question…

"So you're not gonna try to get her back?" I asked.

"You mean, do something _devious_, like sending a _fake_ text message that _looks_ like it came from Gary Wolf, telling her to meet him at the Crownbridge mall?" Freddie said with a devious smile. I found myself smiling too. I know, I know, really bad and really selfish. But I couldn't help myself. Prank text from Freddie meant no Gary Wolf smooching up on Sam's cute little face. Which means, Sam gets to stay relatively boy-germs free another day. Which is always comforting. And it was enough for me to drop everything I was going to say. There was no need for that right now. I was satisfied with what I just heard. Well, more than satisfied. More like… happy? Yeahhh, throw stones at me later.

"I didn't know you could be so bad." I smirked at Freddie. I owe him for that. "Heh. Good night." I waved at him and began to go back to my apartment.

"Night."

I heard a small groan after I shut my door, but ignored it and went towards my kitchen. Even though I knew Sam wasn't going to be defiled by some 'gorgeous' boy tonight, it definitely didn't solve the problem of her... well… liking boys. Haha. Since when is that allowed to be a problem? I guess… since I realized liking Sam was going to be a problem.

I needed a fruit pouch, and pronto. Some artificial flavoring and sugar would get me happy again. I needed some perk, and I needed to get my mind off of Sam. Cuz I mean, it's no big. You're in love with your best friend, who is totally not into you - or girls to be exact. So you virtually have no chance in hell. That's fine. Totally cool. Before I even got close to the fridge, I noticed the Pak-Rat machine just sitting there, waiting for me.

A little game of Pak-Rat might get me forgetting this whole mess. So, yeah, I basically just sneaked onto the stool and played for hours. It was kinda freaky because I don't remember falling asleep but I do remember my crazy dream. I was the rat, and those little cheese pieces were little bits of Sam, and all those freaky cats were Gary Wolf and all the stupid hot guys in school. It was… interesting.

Next thing I know, Spencer woke me up. I'm not sure what kind of conversation we had after that, but I told him to carry me to my bed. Before I could close my eyes again, my phone beeped. A text message from Sam. Well, another one. I forgot to bring my phone with me, and she left me a whole bunch of text messages throughout the night.

I read the most recent one last.

"This is weird. He's not texting back anymore."

"It's been like half an hour. Totally weird."

"Okay, Im gonna leave soon. Seriously."

"Uhhh. I've been here for like 2 hours, and he's not here at all."

"What if he died?"

"OMG, what if he totally ditched me?"

"If he's not here in another 10 mins, I'm totally leaving."

"Yeaaahhhh. The mall closed a lonngg time ago. He's def not coming."

"Totally ditched me. Like epic dingdong ditched me. But like… text-hey-lets-hang-but-just-kidding ditched me."

"Carly? Helloooo?"

"Ok, maybe my phone just isn't texting anymore."

"If you're getting my texts, call me or something."

"Ok, I give up. I'm coming back."

I sighed after reading all the texts and frowned a little. Kind of sucked for her to go through a suckish night of waiting around and being embarrassed. Too bad I was too tired to really care as much as I wanted to. Or maybe I was just a little bit too preoccupied with my feelings to think about hers.

It was kind of stupid of her to go through so much trouble and waste so much time on some dumb guy who she barely knows. And I didn't want her to come back to me just because her other plans were a flop. Didn't want to be her second choice. I wished it was different, but I had no say in how things like that works. I tried to close my eyes to get some sleep but before I could really fall asleep, I heard Sam shut the door to my bedroom. She never knocks, see, but I don't mind it at all. It's kind of comforting.

"Ugh." I heard her kick off her shoes. I felt her climb onto my bed and pull the covers over herself before snuggling a little closer to me. "I hate boys…" She trailed off; I knew she was tired too. I moved towards her some more to feel her warmth; just enough to feel comfortable. "They're a bunch of stupid butts…" She kept on going, in a whisper. "Carls, sorry to break it to ya, but we're probably gonna end up living with each other and adopting a bunch of cats for the rest of our lives…"

She didn't need to be sorry about that… As unappealing as that sounded, I sort of liked it. "Sounds like a plan…" I laughed softly, and she let out a giggle before resting her head against the back of my neck. Just like that, we fell asleep together in our exhausted state. It wasn't perfect. And she wasn't in love with me. But right now, this was all I needed.

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Please review. You don't even need to sign in or nothing cuz you can totally comment anonymously. I just want some feedback to make me a better writer. Give me some suggestions for ideas too! I really want people to start liking CAM s'more! Thank you so much!


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